Help is not a four letter word
I believe it’s well-documented that most guys would rather wander aimlessly for hours around a city, with or without car, before they would stop and ask someone for directions. This, of course, is well on its way to being an old-wives tale as GPS navigation systems improve and become more ubiquitous. But I wonder if an aversion to seek help in certain circumstances is a broader human trait that may be hard to break even when we are all being guided around by mechanical voices.
As a consultant, I am paid to provide expertise to my clients that they typically either do not have “in house” or cannot afford to spare from other key undertakings. For the most part, that arrangement works pretty well. So I was a bit surprised this past year when I worked with a client who, while they seemed content to pay me, didn’t actually seem to want my help. And this wasn’t a week-long engagement ; it was months. And here’s the most puzzling part: while I pride myself on being wrong as often as possible, in this particular case, most of the advice and guidance I was providing, history will now show, was right on the money. So what gives?
I think that, for many of us, we may have inadvertently created a belief system that to ask for help is to admit weakness, stupidity, a lack of leadership, or some other characteristic that we hope doesn’t end up on our tombstone. As a leader, I think that’s a big problem. Because it’s just as easy to end up with some equally or perhaps even less flattering labels on our tombstones, like arrogant, egotistical, know-it-all, and ineffective.
Next time you have a problem you’re not dead-certain how to solve, try this. Go up to a few folks and say, “I think I may need your help…” I bet you get more enthusiastic responses than you might think. And bolster some folks’ sense that they can add value too.
Remember, HELP is not a four letter word, but FAIL is…
